light. voices. dark. silence. static voice.
i’m hardly in between.
this is how it feels to want to step into the vast of darkness but the force of life is pulling me out.

i have a life in which i am not haunted, day and night.

i have a life in which i do not curse you and accept your cuts had been on my body, nothing and everything is wrong, all at once.

and I saw your face, your sunny smile and delicate face.
that you were the reason I gave a life, a chance, once again.

For once, I choose life.
Until I do not have the agency to choose which way to go, I will choose life.

--

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in the world where you predominantly alone, hug yourself
because God give you two hands so it’s warm enough to give yourself the warmth you deserve
and maybe one day, you realise there will be someone to help you realised that all this time you are never alone
and they might want to help you ease whatever pain, fiery anger you currently have
and may be they will come in the most correct time; the time that suits the best for you to receive a hug that’s warm enough you can call it

home.

you’re coming home, finally.

--

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Ruthnaomi VL

Ruthnaomi VL

A quarantine diary in the midst of outbreak, including the downfalls and such.